You Can't Trust Anyone Over $30

Bad news.. the guy who bought my car last week for $8,500 wrote me a bad check. Yep, it bounced like a rubber ball.

So now, not only do I not get the money, but my car is gone. Well, it's not really gone, as it turns out. The police found it about 25 miles from here, damaged, with several engine parts missing. I had it towed to a local car repair place, and they said they can fix it for about $1,500. Great.

I guess I should have been more diligent, or at least maybe questioned why the guy wanted to buy my car for $8,500 when I was only asking $6,000 for it. But he was the only buyer who even asked about the car, and I needed the money, so I blindly took the deal.

Lesson learned: don't trust anyone who wants to write you a check for more than $30.. unless, of course, they're buying a typewriter from me!!

Sacrificing for the Greater Good

Part of my new resolve to be 100% successful this year involves sacrificing things in other areas of my life. If I want the business to thrive, other things must suffer, at least temporarily, until I can pump the life back into the patient.

The first thing I did was to sell my car. Yes, I took the plunge last night. I'd grown attached to the ol' roadster, having driven it nearly 180,000 miles over the past 12 years. But I needed the cash, and decided that having money in hand was vital enough that taking the bus or walking to and from work each day would be worth it. I sold the '91 Oldsmobile Cutlass to a guy who really wanted it, and was willing to pay more than I was asking. He wrote me a check on the spot for $8,500, which was almost what I'd paid for it back in 1997. It was tough to see him drive my car away without me in it, but it had to be done.

Next, I decided to cut my own household consumption as much as possible. No more lunches for me, just breakfast and dinner. Also, it's lights out at my house... no electricity will burn after 6pm - just candles. Hey, if it was good enough for my great grandparents, it's good enough for me!

Other small sacrifices will soon follow: no new clothes, even from the Salvation Army store; limited water consumption; and all magazine subscriptions will be cancelled. I will keep my home phone for now, but that could be next to go if things don't pick up.

It's all about doing what you can to succeed. And I will succeed. I have the road map, I have the plans. Once the marketing campaign kicks in, which it will in the coming weeks, I will have more customers in my store than I know what to do with.

It WILL happen!

Learning some lessons

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

I made up that phrase about ten years ago when I realized that the stock investments I'd made five years earlier had taken a nosedive, and I made the decision not to reinvest in the same stocks.

It came to mind again these past several weeks as I tried to take note of the lessons of last year. Do not, I told myself, repeat the mistakes you made over the past 12 months. Learn from them, but do not repeat them.

Loyal readers will recall everything I've done wrong over the past year, but just a few highlights for the new members: Ordering vast quantities of new typewriter models while the older ones still remain on the shelves, unsold; Buying commercial time on KZMO radio and being locked into a year-long contract; Inviting the KZMO morning show to do a remote broadcast from my Alta Coma store; "selling" some typewriters to an elderly lady who wrote me two bad checks; opening a new store in the next town without doing the proper due diligence as to whether or not it would be a successful venture.

Yes, there are more, but those are the major ones. The funny thing is, I had no idea they were bad ideas at all until at least a month afterward (except for the KZMO broadcast.. I knew that was bad right away).

So how do I start fresh in the new year? By strengthening my resolve, and by refocusing my marketing campaign to draw in more customers than I ever have before. My goal is to have the best year since I took over the family business all those years ago.

How does that happen? The ideas are churning in my mind. I won't reveal them just yet, dear readers, but be assured, I WILL be successful this year.

The customers are out there. I just have to find them.

Disaster

Oh, my Lord. What a horrible couple of weeks. I can't describe it all right now, as I'm still shaken. But in short, my store was robbed on opening day, my Alta Coma employee quit after 10 minutes, and KZMO, which was supposed to end my advertising contract last week, notified me that I still owe Digger and the Pig their "talent fee" of $500 each.

And I have still not sold a single typewriter since September.

More later, if I can figure a way out of this one.

Tomorrow is the big day...

...and I'm not nearly ready for it. I've spent huge amounts of money on the new store, getting it presentable for customers, and it's still not in top shape. It will get there eventually, but the people who walk in tomorrow will not see the store in its best form.

No matter. I will still smile warmly, introduce myself to everyone, show off my expertise, and do my best to turn tomorrow's visitors into lifelong satisfied clients.

I will open the doors promptly at 8:00 am, just as I normally do in Alta Coma. Speaking of which, the Alta Coma store will be staffed tomorrow by my new employee, Jacob Gray, who will be there ready to answer all of your typewriter questions, and take care of you.

The new era begins! And boy, am I nervous.

Business is still slow

Sales have really been bad this month.

I am in desperate need of customers, because my new location in Chesterton opens on November 1, and my first rent payment is due on October 30th. I signed the lease agreement last week.

The new store will be just off the main street in downtown Chesterton, on Keel Haul Road. It's the middle store of three total that are grouped together in a kind of "mini mall," so we can all help each other. I will be in between a check-cashing outlet and a Salvation Army store.

So please, if anyone needs a typewriter, come on by and BUY.. from ME!

Please.

"Pipe Dream" becoming a reality

Finally, some good news on the Chad Torp front.

First, it looks like my germ of an idea has grown into a full-fledged virus.. or, better analogy, my acorn of an idea has turned into a mighty oak.

The owners of the Chesterton property, the one I've had my eye on for a few months now, have agreed to lease their space to me so I can open a second Alta Coma Typewriters location!! We still have to hammer out the details, like final price and move-in date, but they were more than eager to take me on as a renter.

Second, KZMO radio has agreed to let me out of my advertising contract at the 6-month mark, meaning I don't have to advertise for a full year. Hooray!

Okay, faithful readers, I know what you're thinking. Why is he leasing the property instead of buying it, like his grandfather did at the Alta Coma location? And why is he calling the Chesterton location "Alta Coma Typewriters?"

To the first question, the owners simply wanted too much money on a purchase. I won't say how much, but it was in the 7-figure range, and none of those figures were cents! So I'll pay them a set amount each month on a year-to-year lease contract, and then we can renew and renegotiate each year. Sounds fair. I just need to come up with the extra money for the rent, AND I'll have to pay for a new employee. If there's anyone within the sound of my words who knows everything and more about typewiters, let me know and you've got the job!

To the second question, it's really not final that I'll call it Alta Coma Typewriters. The family name is so well-known in town, but maybe not elsewhere. I assume, though, that the name Chesterton Typewriters was already taken many years ago, so I obviously can't use a competitor's name. I am open to debate on that one, but for now, it's Alta Coma Typewriters (Chesterton branch).

It's an exciting time for yours truly. I just hope I can find the cash to make it work. A nice inflow of customers would REALLY help right about now! (hint, hint!!).

A New Store in the Works???

Okay, maybe it's just a pipe dream, but I am seriously considering leasing that new property in Chesterton that I mentioned a few posts back.

Business is slow here in Alta Coma, but a second store could make all the difference. I can't just close my current store, as some have suggested, and simply open up another one in another city. Why not? Because then I'd really have to start over. Plus, where would all of my Alta Coma customers go for typewriters? This business has been right here at this location since the Hoover administration, and I'm not about to let those faithful customers down. (Although I will admit that they've not been coming back to the store like they used to.. I blame the high-quality products that last for years!).

So I think a second store is in order here. I spoke with the current lease holder who directed me to the property owner, and they're willing to consider my bid. I told them that I need to either figure out a way to get out of my KZMO contract for advertising, or, more realistically, I'll have to borrow the money from somewhere. They weren't too keen on that, but you never know.

Next step: surveying the foot traffic. This is what a good business man does. Weigh the options, listen to the inner voice, be realistic about the good and be honest about the bad, and then make a prudent decision.

Right now, that inner voice is telling me quite loudly: GO FOR IT!!

We'll see.

Running Amok in the Store

I shouldn't have to post this one, but I will for all of my faithful readers.

I must insist that anyone who is not in the store or on store grounds to purchase a typewriter, or to otherwise shop for typewriters and accessories, may NOT run into the store and scream and yell.

Twice this past weekend, and three times last week, several people came running into my typewriter store while yelling and waving their arms in a wild manner. They didn't touch anything, and as far as I know they didn't steal anything, but it was disturbing, to say the least. Fortunately, no customers were in the store at the precise times they were doing that.

But who's to say I won't be so lucky next time? I may be in the middle of making a (much-needed) sale when these mad men and women come barging in and disrupt my business. It would certainly scare off anyone who isn't ready for it, I assure you.

So please, PLEASE, do not come into my store and run around wildly. It's my new rule.

Thanks.

The sale that wasn't, and more

I have a saying that I made up many, many years ago, and one that I think is universal. It goes like this: "When it rains it pours."

In other words, when one bad thing happens, a whole bunch of other bad things seem to happen right along with it. When I coined that phrase, more than 20 years ago, I had no idea that it would still apply to me in 2008, but it sure does.

Bad thing number 1: It turns out that I have to pay the KZMO morning team of Digger and the Pig the "talent fee" that I owe them for that so-called broadcast last week. One small silver lining is that I only have to pay a total of $500, instead of $500 to each of them. Big woop.

Bad thing number 2: My advertising contract with KZMO is non-cancelable, meaning that I can stop recording new commercials, but I can't get back the money I already paid them for the year. I could sure use that $24,000 right about now, because of:

Bad thing number 3: The old lady that came in last week and purchased an IBM Selectric gave me some bogus address to ship it to, and UPS sent the typewriter back to me. which means no sale. She wrote the following information on the sales slip: Mrs. Edna Greel; 565 Gramercy Boulevard; Minneapolis 16, MO. I figured she meant "Minnesota," and not "Missouri," so I shipped it there.

After a phone call from UPS saying the address didn't exist, I did some checking. It turns out that Gramercy Boulevard hasn't existed since 1967, when they put up Interstate 94 through that neighborhood. No house, no street, no delivery.

Then, on top of that, the check she wrote me turned out to be from an account that has been designated by the bank as "inactive." I hadn't noticed it at the time (my fault), but the bank the check was drawn on was the old Alta Coma Savings and Loan, which hasn't existed since the late 1980s. It had been taken over by a few different banks since then, most recently by Washington Mutual, and they are the ones who informed me that the check was not good. Well, well, well... no sale.

It's small wonder that I haven't seen her since she came in the next day looking for another typewriter. She must have sensed I was suspicious, made an excuse to leave, and never came back. Unbelievable. She had to be in her 80s, and frankly, she is the last person I would have suspected to pull something like this. If you can't trust an old person, exactly whom can you trust? It's a sad world.

Just in case, I'm going to leave my current sales tally for May at "1", instead of moving it back to "zero". You never know, she may feel guilty and decide to come back in and pay CASH for her typewriter. Yep, for her, it's strictly CASH ONLY next time.

I do have some hope for the future, though. Seeing how slow my business has been these past several years, the idea of expansion into other cities has seemed like a bad idea. But tonight I got to thinking: maybe a second store, in a brand new location, would be just the ticket. I was driving through Chesterton last month, and noticed that there were no typewriter stores anywhere. Okay, well, why not open up a second store in Chesterton and take advantage of the untapped market?

I will noodle on this idea for a bit longer, but the more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense. It will cost a bit for more rent and an employee to run the store, but sometimes you have to spend money to make money. You see, when it rains, it pours.. but that's only bad when it's not raining success!

Focusing on typewriter sales

Well, after the radio show debacle last Wednesday morning, I'm now ready to refocus on what I do best: selling typewriters.

Regular readers of this blog are probably saying, "Wait a minute! I thought that was your focus all along!"

True enough, but I think my ambition may have stepped ahead of my own reality. Truth be told, I think that my eagerness to take on challenges that are not as familiar to me (such as advertising, mass-media, etc.) came at the expense of my real area of expertise. So it's time to redirect my energies into typewriter sales, and in the process bring the business back up to its former levels of profitability.

I finally got in touch with Bob Green at KZMO, and he said my advertising contract cannot be terminated. He also said that I need to pay a "talent fee" to those two radio clowns, Digger and the Pig, who showed up at my store and made such a mess of things. Guess how much: $500, each!! I told him I didn't have that kind of money to throw around, and even if I did, I wouldn't give it to those morons. They made a mockery of me and my business, they showed up late, and they left an hour and 45 minutes early. He seemed sympathetic, so he said he'd get back to me. We'll see.

In the meantime, as I get re-energized and bear down, it's onward and upward from here. Look out, sales records, you are about to be shattered!

Regrets, I've had a few

It was at best disappointing, and at worst, a disaster.

The KZMO radio morning show was here today doing their "program" (I use that word loosely) from my shop, and suffice to say, they won't be back. Not if I can help it.

"Digger and the Pig" they call themselves. They are two 20-something guys, who were supposed to do their show from 5am to 10am in the main part of my typewriter store. The idea was that they would bring in the customers, talk about the merchandise, interview me, attract a lot of attention, and I could have a bonanza at the cash register. Well, ideas are great, but only if they come to fruition.

I showed up here at 4am to get ready for the 5:00 broadcast. I wore a nice shirt and tie, swept up, brought in some rolls and coffee, and had a small table and chairs waiting for them. "Waiting" is the key word here. The engineer showed up at 5:30, half an hour after the scheduled start time. He explained that the first hour, 5-6am, was a "Best of Digger" show, which I guess is highlights from the previous day. The actual live show doesn't start until 6:00.

Okay, well, thanks for telling me.

The hosts of the show rolled in at 6:15. Never said hello, just sat down and started playfully calling the engineer obscene names. I sat down at the table with them, expecting to be interviewed or at least in some way acknowledged, but again, nothing. They started off doing some "comedy" bit on the air, where they called a hospital and pretended to be a patient with Tourette's Syndrome, complete with language that I wouldn't want a truck driver to hear, much less any customer that might come in.

When they finally did get around to mentioning where they were doing the broadcast, like around 6:55am, they got the name of the store wrong. They called it "Alta Coma Typing Machines," then "Alta Coma Keyboard Thingies," and finally just "Some Typing Place." Hey guys: it's called Alta Coma Typewriters. Try making a note of it.

The one "interview" they did with me seemed genuine enough, but it turned out it wasn't. I figured out after a few minutes that every time I answered one of Digger's questions about typing or the typewriter store, the guy they call "the Pig" was making pig noises on the air from a microphone across the room. I couldn't hear it at first, but when I put on a pair of headphones midway through the interview I could hear the whole thing. Very funny guys. Very professional.

The whole 7:00 hour got even worse. They tossed reels of typewriter ribbon around the store. They threw the pastries at the ceiling to try to make them stick. They invited callers to come down to the store and fight. They went out into the street and yelled things at people walking by. They made fun of me, my store, and my lack of customers. When I told them that my "lack of customers" was something that they were supposed to fix with this broadcast, and that maybe my "lack of customers" was due to their presence in my store, one of them, I think it was the Pig, blasted an air horn right into my ear.

I was dazed, and more than a little bit angry at this point. I tried calling Bob Green (the sales manager at KZMO) to complain, but I couldn't get him on the phone. I tried calling the General Sales Manager, the Program Director, anyone, to try to restore order, but it seems nobody comes into the radio station until well after 9:00 am. They would never make it in the real business world, believe me. And while I was making these phone calls in the back, more shenanigans up front. They turned my "Come in, we're OPEN" sign around to the "Sorry, we're CLOSED" side. They poured coffee in one of the Smith-Coronas. And, after figuring out how to put the paper in the IBM and actually start typing on it (these are not rocket scientists), they typed the words, "This Place Sucks" over and over on several sheets of paper, which they then taped to the outside store window.

By 8:15, I'd had enough. So had they, I guess, because they made one last on-air insult directed at me, and then left the store... well before the scheduled 10am sign-off.

The place was a mess, they'd taken several boxes of pens, paper, and other supplies, and, worst of all, they didn't bring in a single customer! Not one. Actually, though, that might have been a good thing, since I don't think I'd want to serve anyone who listens to "Digger and the Pig" on the radio.

I still have the small matter of the year-long advertising package I bought on KZMO, which has another 49 weeks to run. After today's fiasco, I'm really not in the mood to continue with them. I've been leaving messages for Bob Green, but I haven't heard back from him yet.

If I can't get out of my advertising contract, I just might change the focus of my commercials from "Buy a typewriter" to "Don't listen to the KZMO morning show." It's worth a thought.

Closing early today

I'm closing the shop at 6:00 tonight in preparation for my "big debut" on the radio tomorrow morning (KZMO!). I'll be here early, since the show starts at 5:00 am. I will be opening my doors promptly at 5:00, so if anyone wants to come on by, you may do so even earlier than usual.

If you can't come by, be sure to listen to the "Digger and the Pig" show tomorrow morning on KZMO for the booming voice of yours truly!!

Return customer

From the "Odd but True" file: the old lady that came in yesterday and bought the IBM Selectric returned to the store today, looking to purchase another typewriter.

I immediately recognized her, of course, but she didn't seem to remember who I was (even though I'm the only person working here!). Anyway, she said she had lost her typewriter (basically the same story from before) and wanted to know about a Royal brand that hasn't been made since, like, FDR's administration. I'm exaggerating, but we haven't carried Royals in years.

I figured I'd play along, so I told her, again, about the IBM Selectric, and went into the sales pitch. She was interested, but said she needed to talk to her husband about it.

Okay, I said, whenever you're ready to buy, you let me know. She then said her husband was outside on the lawn, and that she would go get him.

Huh? The lawn??

Well anyway, she took her shoes off for some reason, and went outside to get her husband. I went in the back to retrieve the IBM Selectric, and was writing up the sales slip when I noticed that it was taking her a long time to come back. Half an hour went by, and nothing. Then an hour, then two hours. Nothing. That was this morning, and she still hasn't come back.

I'll give her another day, but if I don't see her tomorrow, I'm afraid at that point I'll have to void the sale. Not a problem, really, but two sales in two days would have been nice.

Finally, a sale!

It's hard to believe I'm excited about one sale of one typewriter, but there you are.

A woman walked into the store, elderly, around 80 years old, and asked if we had a Smith-Corona model 200. I told her that they don't make those anymore, that the Smith-Corona 200 series had been discontinued more than 40 years ago. She said that couldn't be possible, as she had just purchased one last week. That didn't make sense to me.

I asked her why she needed a new one now if she had bought one last week, and she told me she had misplaced it. Apparently, by her account, she had been visiting her parents' home, and had brought the new typewriter with her to finish some correspondence with her brother, who she said is a soldier fighting overseas in France. This morning, she had looked all over the house for the typewriter, couldn't find it, and decided that it was lost for good.

Fortunately for yours truly, she hopped on a city bus and asked the driver where she might find a new typewriter, and he dropped her off at the bus stop in front of my store (he has seen me many times outside my store as he drives by each morning). Within 15 minutes, she was sold on the new IBM, made her purchase, and I had one less piece of inventory.

She looked rather frail, frankly, so I offered to have the typewriter delivered to her home so she wouldn't have to carry it. She had already written me a check for the IBM, and while I normally charge a fee to have items delivered, I decided to just send it for free. It took her several minutes to even write the check, and I didn't want to prolong the transaction any more than I had to in case she changed her mind.

My store is in Alta Coma, CA, and she put her address down as being in Minneapolis, which I thought was odd. Also, I noticed she wrote "Minneapolis, Missouri," instead of the more familiar city in Minnesota. But no matter, my store services people from everywhere, so I'm glad to ship it off to wherever I need to.

So things are picking up. My radio ads have started, and while they haven't really produced much in the way of customers (the elderly lady from this morning notwithstanding), I am excited about the remote broadcast that the KZMO morning show will be doing from right here in my store next week. That may be the real turning point.